Monday, March 21, 2005
Quasi-affability and its advocates disgust me
Lately I have been questioning the artlessness of people's sugarcoated sociability. Some people are nice...while some are just, well...too nice. They are too nice to the point of utter repugnance. And as if that is not enough to make you retch your guts out, these caramel-varnished tongues always turn out to be cheap counterfeits of the reliable souls we call friends. So how do you sieve the bona fide angels from the two-faced demons who collectively make up our unpredictable social circles? This is anything but an easy task, but here's my two cents' worth.
I have always believed that honest friends are often not afraid to be monsters at first sight, relatively speaking, of course. Some are just too darn beautiful to be anything remotely close to monsters, even if they try. When people do not hide behind the veil of pseudo-perfection and readily admit to you that they do watch pornography, or that they do fantasize about Richard Simmons, you know that they are most likely for real, because these are people who want you to know them for what they are and who are not afraid of being judged by a lesser you. And as you gradually become comfortable with their shortcomings, you will realize that those shortcomings are the very essence of their idiosyncratic appeal...for our imperfections lend us the right to call ourselves human beings, unblemished by the plastic and metallic beauty of the un-alive.
When we are able to accept people for the devils that they are first, and are unbiased by the intrinsic goodness in them, we tend to subconsciously downplay our unreasonable expectations of them. The cards are laid out on the table...there is nothing to hide. We can say, "Hey, he's a sonafabitch, but I love him nonetheless..." And when the opportunity arises for them to show us their occasional virtues, we do not have to be apprehensive about its legitimacy because we know that we have seen everything, so there is no reason for them to put on a freakshow.
Personally, I have, over the years, developed a deep-rooted inclination to distrust acquaintances who are simply too glossy when it comes to the sociability arena. Even some of the friends we have, they are like Superman - incapable of being bad or getting mad, and all they do is say nice things to you and smile at your silliest antics, even those worthy of a bitch-slap. Sure, our insatiable desire to feed our ego will make us appoint them our latest deputies...but when we are over-fed with their sweet adorations and become intoxicated by an excessive sugar level in the blood, we start to ask ourselves if these guys are for real. And often, we realize that they are not.
Lovefoolosopher ¶ 7:45 PM
I have always believed that honest friends are often not afraid to be monsters at first sight, relatively speaking, of course. Some are just too darn beautiful to be anything remotely close to monsters, even if they try. When people do not hide behind the veil of pseudo-perfection and readily admit to you that they do watch pornography, or that they do fantasize about Richard Simmons, you know that they are most likely for real, because these are people who want you to know them for what they are and who are not afraid of being judged by a lesser you. And as you gradually become comfortable with their shortcomings, you will realize that those shortcomings are the very essence of their idiosyncratic appeal...for our imperfections lend us the right to call ourselves human beings, unblemished by the plastic and metallic beauty of the un-alive.
When we are able to accept people for the devils that they are first, and are unbiased by the intrinsic goodness in them, we tend to subconsciously downplay our unreasonable expectations of them. The cards are laid out on the table...there is nothing to hide. We can say, "Hey, he's a sonafabitch, but I love him nonetheless..." And when the opportunity arises for them to show us their occasional virtues, we do not have to be apprehensive about its legitimacy because we know that we have seen everything, so there is no reason for them to put on a freakshow.
Personally, I have, over the years, developed a deep-rooted inclination to distrust acquaintances who are simply too glossy when it comes to the sociability arena. Even some of the friends we have, they are like Superman - incapable of being bad or getting mad, and all they do is say nice things to you and smile at your silliest antics, even those worthy of a bitch-slap. Sure, our insatiable desire to feed our ego will make us appoint them our latest deputies...but when we are over-fed with their sweet adorations and become intoxicated by an excessive sugar level in the blood, we start to ask ourselves if these guys are for real. And often, we realize that they are not.
Lovefoolosopher ¶ 7:45 PM
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i hate such bitches too! let's form a club. the 'ihatepretentiousmotherfuckers' club.
angelsoul
angelsoul
# posted by 
: 10:03 PM
: 10:03 PM
There are reasons why some people act that way. I'm guilty of it too at times. For example, when I meet someone for the first time or the first few times, I'll definitely watch what I say in fear of offending the person. It can be like basic etiquette. We don't know what kind of person he/she is so have to be careful. Only until I have becomed more comfortable with him/her and know what kind of person he/she is can I safely be more open and act more natural. Not that I want to put up an act, it's just an act of caution. Some people just want to hear good things about themselves from others...they can be too serious to want to hear or accept criticisms or jokes. Moreover, if one is too open or lets out too much about himself/herself during the first few meetings, it can always trigger bad comments. More men can accept frankness than women can. As for me, if I feel comfortable enough to open up to the person, I'll be more frank to him/her and offer him/her my sincere views and opinions on things afecting him/her. If a close girlfriend of mine is wearing something that doesn't suit her, I'll just tell her straight. That's what true friends are for...to help you change for the better. So for those friends of yours who always seem nice to you and never want to say anything bad, you shouldn't consider them friends...they would be more appropriately labelled as acquaintances as they do not know you well enough. If they had known you well enough, of course it would occur to them that you would rather have them say something sincere or real although it may hurt a little. Constructive criticisms are one of the ways one can improve on oneself. This is life...that's why we have so many different types of personalities to create the spice of life. In this century, most people are turning unreal, it's hard to find someone deeply rooted to the ground. That's why we have more and more psychiatrists and psychologists around.
# posted by : 9:59 PM
: 9:59 PM
There are reasons why some people act that way. I'm guilty of it too at times. For example, when I meet someone for the first time or the first few times, I'll definitely watch what I say in fear of offending the person. It can be like basic etiquette. We don't know what kind of person he/she is so have to be careful. Only until I have becomed more comfortable with him/her and know what kind of person he/she is can I safely be more open and act more natural. Not that I want to put up an act, it's just an act of caution. Some people just want to hear good things about themselves from others...they can be too serious to want to hear or accept criticisms or jokes. Moreover, if one is too open or lets out too much about himself/herself during the first few meetings, it can always trigger bad comments. More men can accept frankness than women can. As for me, if I feel comfortable enough to open up to the person, I'll be more frank to him/her and offer him/her my sincere views and opinions on things afecting him/her. If a close girlfriend of mine is wearing something that doesn't suit her, I'll just tell her straight. That's what true friends are for...to help you change for the better. So for those friends of yours who always seem nice to you and never want to say anything bad, you shouldn't consider them friends...they would be more appropriately labelled as acquaintances as they do not know you well enough. If they had known you well enough, of course it would occur to them that you would rather have them say something sincere or real although it may hurt a little. Constructive criticisms are one of the ways one can improve on oneself. This is life...that's why we have so many different types of personalities to create the spice of life. In this century, most people are turning unreal, it's hard to find someone deeply rooted to the ground. That's why we have more and more psychiatrists and psychologists around.
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# posted by : 10:00 PM
: 10:00 PMSubscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
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